Im 22 years old with two beautiful little girls. I have a caring loving husband and a beautiful farm that we bought two summers ago. My 2nd daughter was born in May 2012 and before that I was a Happy individual who loved to laugh and think of new Ideas to do on are farm and I loved to read and play with my daughter, 1 month after my little angel was born I became sick I was supposed to stay in bed but found it impossible too do that because I was all alone on the farm with my two girls and my husband worked full time in town which from March to September is the busy season which includes 12 hour days. I ended up needing surgery which was not fun especially afterwards when I was alone with my girls and all the responsiblity of house chores and yard maintenance and farm chores and paying bills and then my husband got some kind of heat stroke therefore he was stuck in bed for 2 weeks which added more stress on my shoulders. Im not sure of the exact day my depression started but I remember the day I looked out the window in August and the grass had no colour it was just gray and boring the sky was not blue anymore it was also grey and ugly. I found no ecxitment in being outside and doing things I was tired and just wanted to do nothing. My baby cried all the time, I never got to have a full nights sleep, I had anxiety that she would stop breathing in her sleep therefore I was up every 30 minutes checking on her. I no longer had control of my emotions and feelings, I started becoming extreamly forgetful and dizzy, I had headaches and stomach aches, I felt like I was in nightmare and I could not snap out of in….nothing felt real anymore. I thought I was loosing my mind. My symptoms progressively got worse so I went to the doctor who put me on medication, she said i would it would take some time to feel like my old self, I’ve been on this medication for 2 months, I no longer feel like Im in a dream I can focus on things again and I’m begining to want to do my old hobbies again. I sleep like a baby at night….until my daughter wakes me up ofcourse. I still feel sad and wake up in the morning with the feeling like a have a major hang over but I am definetly feeling like im heading in the right direction to getting my life and my happy self back. Wow did It feel great to get all of that off my shoulders.
I wish depression did not exist and I pray that everyone out there with depression keeps focused on getting well….which means taking it one day at a time.
